Category: Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy

Against all odds, Ford and Arthur have completely and utterly failed to find a way to prevent being thrown out of an airlock by the captain of the Vogon ship. And against all probability, Ford and Arthur are picked up before they die, rescued by a sleek new starship which is powered by the revolutionary (and inexplicable) Infinite Improbability Drive. Ford is elated to find that the ship in question, the Heart of Gold, is under the command of his two-headed, three-armed, usually-inebriated semi-cousin Zaphod Beeblebrox. And Arthur is stunned to find out that he’s not the only surviving member of the human race; a girl named Trillian (who Arthur knew as Tricia McMillan) is traveling with Zaphod, who convinced her at a party to leave Earth and join him several months ago – even though Arthur was attempting to get friendly with her at the same party. Ford and Arthur also meet Marvin, the ship’s permanently-depressed robot. There’s only one problem with the Heart of Gold (in addition to the fact that Zaphod barely knows how to fly it): Zaphod stole it, and now every cop in the galaxy will be hot on his trail.

written by Douglas Adams
directed by Alick Hale-Munro
music by Paddy Kingsland

Cast: Peter Jones (The Voice of the Book), Simon Jones (Arthur Dent), Geoffrey McGivern (Ford Prefect), Stephen Moore (Marvin), Mark Wing-Davey (Zaphod Beeblebrox), Susan Sheridan (Trillian), Bill Wallis (Vogon Captain), David Tate (Vogon Guard / Eddie)

Notes: The original radio broadcast attributed the worst poetry in the universe to Paul Neil Milne Jonhston, an actual acquaintance of Douglas Adams who – perhaps understandably – objected to this dubious tribute, especially when it came in the form of a radio program broadcast across Britain. In later LP releases, the novels, the television series, and even the version of the radio shows syndicated to America, this name was changed to “Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings.”

The Heart of Gold enters orbit around Magrathea, a near-mythical dead planet once famed for its singular industry: the construction of custom-designed planets. When automatic defense systems warn the ship off and Zaphod insists on approaching for a landing, a vicious attack ensues. Arthur suggests firing the Infinite Improbability Drive at the last minute, which not only whisks the ship away to safety, but also does away with the nuclear missiles from Magrathea. The Heart of Gold lands, and Zaphod, Ford and Trillian go off to explore as Arthur and Marvin guard the ship (despite Zaphod’s assurances that the entire planet is unpopulated). Arthur soon finds out that the planet is populated by at least one man, Slartibartfast. The others soon find out that they haven’t seen the last of the automatic defense systems, and Arthur subsequently discovers that he hasn’t seen the last of his home planet.

written by Douglas Adams
directed by Alick Hale-Munro
music by Paddy Kingsland

Cast: Peter Jones (The Voice of the Book), Richard Vernon (Slartibartfast), Simon Jones (Arthur Dent), Geoffrey McGivern (Ford Prefect), Stephen Moore (Marvin), Mark Wing-Davey (Zaphod Beeblebrox), Susan Sheridan (Trillian), David Tate (Eddie)

Slartibartfast takes Arthur into the hyperspatial construction grounds of Magrathea, where the planet-building engineers are hard at work on a special commission – the new Earth, a replacement for the old one which, as it turns out, was demolished five minutes too soon. The Earth was actually bankrolled by the beings humans know as mice, which are actually incredibly advanced pan-dimensional beings who built the Earth as an organic computer. The Earth’s program was to calculate the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything. (The answer, already known, is simply 42.) But with the Vogons having destroyed millions of years’ work, the mice now hope to extract the question directly from Arthur’s brain. Meanwhile, intergalactic police arrive, hoping to extract Zaphod and the Heart of Gold from Magrathea. And now all the travelers want is to extract themselves in one piece.

written by Douglas Adams
directed by Alick Hale-Munro
music by Paddy Kingsland

Cast: Peter Jones (The Voice of the Book), Richard Vernon (Slartibartfast), Simon Jones (Arthur Dent), Geoffrey McGivern (Ford Prefect / Deep Thought), Mark Wing-Davey (Zaphod Beeblebrox), Susan Sheridan (Trillian), Jonathan Adams (Majikthise / Cheerleader), Ray Hassett (First computer programmer / Bang Bang / PA voice), Jeremy Browne (Second computer programmer), James Broadbent (Vroomfondel / Shooty), Peter Hawkins (Frankie mouse), David Tate (Benjy mouse)

The computer bank behind which Zaphod, Ford, Trillian and Arthur are hiding on Magrathea blows up, but instead of killing them, the explosion propels them millions of years forward in time. They awaken in Milliway’s, the Restaurant at the Edge of the Universe, which was constructed on the ruins of Magrathea eons later. It also turns out that Marvin is there too, though he took the long way, remaining on Magrathea for millennia until Milliway’s was built. Not keen on staying at Milliway’s long enough to be found by the police – to whom, presumably, a few millennia make no difference – Zaphod decides to steal a particularly sleek black ship that has been parked in the restaurant’s docks.

written by Douglas Adams and John Lloyd
directed by Alick Hale-Munro
music by Paddy Kingsland

Cast: Peter Jones (The Voice of the Book), Antony Sharpe (Garkbit / Zarquon), Roy Hudd (Compere’), Simon Jones (Arthur Dent), Geoffrey McGivern (Ford Prefect), Mark Wing-Davey (Zaphod Beeblebrox), Susan Sheridan (Trillian), Stephen Moore (Marvin)

The ship that Zaphod has “borrowed” turns out to be the personal command cruiser of the admiral of a Haggunenon battlefleet. The ship, like its Haggunenon admiral, is organic and evolves rapidly, often over lunchtime. Before long, it becomes quite an inhospitable environment for Zaphod, Ford, Trillian and Arthur, and they’re forced to bail out in escape pods, though only Ford and Arthur actually escape. Thanks to Arthur punching a button, their escape pod travels millions of years backward in time, arriving aboard a Golgafrincham Space Ark. Supposedly, this ship – containing vacuum-frozen hairdressers, TV producers, salespeople and other middle-class members of Golgafrincham society – is one of three evacuation craft escaping the death of the Golgafrincham solar system. Or at least, that’s what its occupants have been told – in actuality, they’ve been sent away from their world while the rest of their planet’s population has a bit of a laugh. The Ark crashes into a primitive world, and its clueless occupants try to form a new society. Ford and Arthur investigate the planet on which they may now be marooned for the rest of their lives, only to find that they’ve been there before.

written by Douglas Adams and John Lloyd
directed by Alick Hale-Munro
music by Paddy Kingsland
(featuring “What A Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong)

Cast: Peter Jones (The Voice of the Book), Simon Jones (Arthur Dent), Geoffrey McGivern (Ford Prefect), Mark Wing-Davey (Zaphod Beeblebrox), Susan Sheridan (Trillian), Stephen Moore (Marvin), Beth Porter (Marketing girl), Jonathan Cecil (Number One / Management consultant), David Jason (Captain / Caveman), Aubrey Woods (Number Two / Hairdresser)

Arthur and Ford are trapped on prehistoric Earth, watching the ship of Golgafrincham middle-men lay the groundwork for what will, depressingly enough, eventually become humanity. Evolution turns out to be a saving grace for Zaphod Beeblebrox, however, as he was eaten by a rapidly evolving life form which handily turned into an escape pod. Zaphod makes his way to Ursa Minor Beta, where the home offices of the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy are located. It seems Zaphod received a message from himself, instructing him to come here and seek out a man named Zarniwoop. But when Zaphod arrives at the Guide offices, his luck begins to run out quickly – he meets up with Marvin yet again, is stuck in the building when Frogstar fighters begin to bomb it to smithereens, and is still stuck in the building when it’s carved right out of the surface of the planet to be whisked away to the Frogstar itself.

written by Douglas Adams
directed by Alick Hale-Munro
music by Paddy Kingsland

Cast: Peter Jones (The Voice of the Book), Simon Jones (Arthur Dent), Geoffrey McGivern (Ford Prefect / Frogstar Robot), Stephen Moore (Marvin), Mark Wing-Davey (Zaphod Beeblebrox), Bill Patterson (Assistant Arcturan pilot), David Tate (Arcturan Captain / Receptionist / Lift), Alan Ford (Roosta)

Notes: Aired as a Christmas special near the end of 1978 – over a year before the five episodes that make up the second series proper – the seventh episode of Hitchhiker’s Guide is still considered a part of the second series by many. It was originally intended to tie into the story of the birth of Jesus, with a spaceborne Marvin burning up in Earth’s atmosphere to provide the “star” followed by the three wise men. Despite coming up with the idea, Douglas Adams later said he felt it would have been in poor taste, and devised a story with clearer links to what he had planned for the second series. The second series didn’t air until January 1980.

Zaphod Beeblebrox isn’t in big trouble. He left big trouble behind long ago and is now in galaxy-sized trouble – he has been taken to the Frogstar, the most evil world in all the galaxy, where he has a date with the Total Perspective Vortex…a usually fatal sentence. No less fatal is the predicment in which Ford and Arthur have found themselves. Ford’s attempt to flag down a passing spaceship to hitch a ride has instead resulted in the ship crashing and causing a volcanic eruption, leaving the two hitchhikers trapped in a cave with no escape. Rather inexplicably, Zaphod rescues them in the Heart of Gold, having survived his encounter with the Total Perspective Vortex.

written by Douglas Adams
directed by Alick Hale-Munro
music by Paddy Kingsland

Cast: Peter Jones (The Voice of the Book), Simon Jones (Arthur Dent), Geoffrey McGivern (Ford Prefect), Mark Wing-Davey (Zaphod Beeblebrox), Alan Ford (Roosta), David Tate (Eddie / Frogstar Prison Relations Officer), Valentine Dyall (Gargravarr)

Though Zaphod has managed to escape the Total Perspective Vortex – at the cost, perhaps, of a bit of what’s left of his sanity – the Heart of Gold crew’s problems are only beginning. Ford notices that a Vogon fleet has been following the ship for some time now, but takes his time to notify Arthur or Zaphod of this fact. Though the Vogons are packing enough firepower to finish them off, they seem to be holding back for some reason. This is just as well, because Arthur as inadvertently set the Heart of Gold’s entire computer system onto the problem of why he should ask for real tea instead of synthesized tea, leaving the rest of the ship incapable of offering any kind of tactical or defensive help. When the Vogons do attack, however, Zaphod seeks help from the other side.

written by Douglas Adams
directed by Alick Hale-Munro
music by Paddy Kingsland

Cast: Peter Jones (The Voice of the Book), Simon Jones (Arthur Dent), Geoffrey McGivern (Ford Prefect / Ventilation system), Mark Wing-Davey (Zaphod Beeblebrox), Stephen Moore (Marvin / Gag Halfrunt / Vogon guard), David Tate (Eddie / Vogon guard #2 / Vogon computer), Bill Wallis (Vogon Captain), Leueen Willoughby (Nutrimat machine), Richard Goolden (Zaphod Beeblebrox IV)

The Heart of Gold escapes the Vogons by using the Infinite Improbability Drive, materializing in what looks like a cave on the planet Brontitall. Technically, though, it’s not on the planet – it’s 13 miles above the planet, as Arthur discovers when he falls out of the opening. Luckily for him, he lands on the back of a large and apparently sentient bird, who informs him that he’s actually just fallen out of a statue. When Arthur sees the statue in full, he’s aghast to see it’s a representation of himself, throwing a cup of badly made synthetic tea from the Heart of Gold’s nutrimat. Every oriface of the anatomically correct statue has become home to this race of intelligent birds. Much to his alarm, Arthur finds that he may have changed the very course of evolution on Brontitall, and he also finds that an archaeologist named Lintilla is currently attempting to work out quite how he did it.

written by Douglas Adams
directed by Alick Hale-Munro
music by Paddy Kingsland

Cast: Peter Jones (The Voice of the Book), Simon Jones (Arthur Dent), Geoffrey McGivern (Ford Prefect), Mark Wing-Davey (Zaphod Beeblebrox), Stephen Moore (Marvin), David Tate (Eddie), Ronald Baddiley (Bird One), John Baddeley (Bird Two / Foot Warrior), Rula Lenska (Lintilla), John Le Mesurier (Wise Old Bird)

Notes: It may surprise Hitchhiker’s fans to learn that it wasn’t until this episode of the radio series that the now-legendary tirade on uses for the towel was introduced to the Hitchhiker mythos, along with the words “hoopy” and “frood.”

Momentous events are afoot on Brontitall as Arthur and Lintilla (and a couple of her five billion or so clones) discover a layer of ancient shoes beneath the planet’s surface. This proves Lintilla’s theory that Brontitall may have once been a shoe-based economy, eschewing every other sector of commerce in favor of the production, marketing and sale of footwear. Meanwhile, Ford and Arthur have rather haphazardly made their way to the planet’s surface via bird, where they find a graveyard of spacecraft – including one which still seems to be in good working condition.

written by Douglas Adams
directed by Alick Hale-Munro
music by Paddy Kingsland

Cast: Peter Jones (The Voice of the Book), Simon Jones (Arthur Dent), Geoffrey McGivern (Ford Prefect), Mark Wing-Davey (Zaphod Beeblebrox), Stephen Moore (Marvin / Pupil), David Tate (Eddie / Compu-Teach / Commentator), John Baddeley (Bird Two / Foot Warrior), Rula Lenska (Lintilla), Mark Smith (Hig Hurtenflurst)

Arthur, Lintilla, Marvin, Lintilla and Lintilla are trapped, pinned down by Brontitall Foot Warriors, but they get an unexpected bit of help from a number of clones all named Allitnil, all of whom are quite taken with Lintilla. Meanwhile, Ford and Zaphod make their way into the still-viable derelict, discovering that the crew is in suspended animation – at least until they awaken. But they’re suddenly removed from Brontitall by Zarniwoop, the man about whom Zaphod left himself a message. Together with Arthur, they meet the man who’s supposedly running the universe. And when he reveals that it was, in fact, Zaphod who ordered the demolition of the Earth, no one expects Arthur Dent to do what he does next.

Cast: Peter Jones (The Voice of the Book), Simon Jones (Arthur Dent), Geoffrey McGivern (Ford Prefect / Priest), Mark Wing-Davey (Zaphod Beeblebrox), Stephen Moore (Marvin / The Man in the Shack), David Tate (Eddie / Allitnils), Rula Lenska (Lintilla / Stewardess), Ken Campbell (Poodoo), Jonthan Pryce (Zarniwoop / Autopilot)