Author: Philip R. Frey

MST3K Story: Crow is still trying to explain Thanksgiving to Gypsy, but she doesn’t seem to get it. Joel shows off his latest invention: Num-Clucks! At some point a number is given for callers to voice their opinions of the show.

Star Force: Fugitive Alien II Story: In flashback, we learn the story of Ken, a former member of the Star Wolves, a group of intergalactic warriors from the planet Valna. Ken had refused to kill a child and his insubordination led to the death of his best friend. Finding himself alone and on the run from the Star Wolves, he was taken in by the crew of the starship Bacchus 3 (Captain Joe, Rocky, Dan and Tammy), who eventually learned to trust him. Rita, Ken’s girlfriend and sister to his deceased best friend, had been sent to kill him, but died in the ensuing confrontation. Now, Ken and his crewmates set out on a mission to the planet Cesar to destroy a powerful enemy weapon. They take on board a Cesar captive to guide them, Colonel Irulen, but he almost immediately causes unrest. After traveling through a black hole, everyone in the crew except Ken becomes ill from the side effects of the journey. Meanwhile the ship drifts closer to Demeter, a star about to go supernova, leaving Colonel Irulen as their only hope to get free of its pull. Through the combined forces of Ken and Colonel Irulen, the ship is repaired and they escape the star in the nick of time. Arriving at Cesar, they are attacked when Colonel Irulen’s attempt to secure passage is rebuffed. When Ken successfully fends off the attackers, Colonel Irulen guides the ship to “The Devil’s Desert”, a desolate area on Cesar. Captain Joe stubbornly insists on going on the expedition to find the enemy weapon, so Rocky shoots him with a tranquilizer to keep him safe. Most of the crew goes instead and, with the help of Colonel Irulen, manage to capture an enemy outpost and disguise themselves as enemy soldiers. Finding the installation in short order, they brazenly walk right in and are able to make their way to the heart of the enemy weapon and set a time bomb to destroy it. At the last moment, Colonel Irulen has a change of heart and attempts to stop the detonation, but is shot by a Cesar guard. The others attempt to make their escape, but one is captured and Ken goes back for him. The rescue is successful and the bomb goes off as planned, destroying the weapon and the entire installation. Meanwhile, Valna’s leader, Halkan, sends his Rangers after a powerful bomb developed on Earth. The crew of the Bacchus 3 are assigned to escort the young daughter of the bomb’s creator and are almost immediately attacked by the Rangers and the young girl and the plans to the bomb are taken. They also attempt to get to Ken by using a double of his late mother to infiltrate the Bacchus 3, but he sees through the ploy. Ken decides to go to Valna and confront Halkan personally. The Bacchus 3 follows and attacks the Valna fortress. A personal combat between Ken and Halkan results in the death of his mother’s double, who sacrifices herself to save Ken. Halkan attempts to escape in a starfighter, but Ken chases after him and defeats him in a dogfight. As the Bacchus 3 leaves Valna, Ken decides to stay behind to help rebuild its civilization.

MST3K segments written by Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, Josh Weinstein, Jim Mallon & Kevin Murphy
MST3K segments director unknown
Star Force: Fugitive Alien II written by Keiichi Abe, Bunkou Wakatsuki, Yoshihisa Araki, Hiroyasu Yamamura (as Hiroyasu Yamura), Hideyoshi Nagasaki & Toyohiro Andô (as Toyohiro Andou)
Star Force: Fugitive Alien II directed by Kiyosumi Kuzakawa & Minoru Kanaya
Star Force: Fugitive Alien II music by Norio Maeda

MST3K Guest Cast: unknown

Star Force: Fugitive Alien II Cast: Tatsuya Azuma (Ken), Jo Shishido (Captain Joe), Miyuki Tanigawa (Tammy), Choei Takahashi (Rocky), Tsutomu Yukawa (Dan), Hiro Tateyama (Biri), Keiko Mari (Rita)

LogBook entry by Philip R. Frey

MST3K Story: Joel is happy with the calls he’s gotten recently and has a number for people to use. Joel and the Bots spend a lot of time listening to their messages. Crow and Servo do an Abbot & Costello-like routine, but Joel thinks they’ve gone a bit nutty. Later, based on a caller’s request for “more Chapstick”, Joel applies loads of it to the Bots. Crow, thinking about Chapstick, goes on a long rant on lubricants, culminating in his famous advice to “never stick anything in your ear larger than a pirate”. At the end, the Bots are making crank calls and Crow goes on and on about dog behavior.

Gamera Vs. Barugon Story: Ichiro Hirata, a crippled war veteran, backs a group of men (Onodera, Kawajiri and Ichiro’s brother Keisuke) on a mission to find a giant opal Ichiro discovered during the war. When they find the opal over the objections of the natives, Onodera orchestrates the death of Kawajiri and seals Keisuke in a cave where he is eventually rescued. Repenting against his previous actions, Keisuke joins with a native girl, Karen, to retrieve the opal. They arrive in Japan too late, as Onodera has murdered Ichiro and the opal has turned out to be an egg that has hatched revealing the monster Barugon. It grows to enormous size and destroys the city with its powerful tongue and rainbow beam, even defeating Gamera in a brief battle. After numerous attempts to destroy Barugon fail, Gamera returns and defeats it.

MST3K segments written by Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, Josh Weinstein, Jim Mallon & Kevin Murphy
MST3K segments directed by Vince Rodriguez
Gamera Vs. Barugon written by Nisan Takahashi (as Nizo Takahashi)
Gamera Vs. Barugon directed by Shigeo Tanaka
Gamera Vs. Barugon music by Chuji Kinoshita

MST3K Guest Cast: none

Gamera Vs. Barugon Cast: Kojiro Hongo (Keisuke Hirata), Kyôko Enami (Karen), Koji Fujiyama (Onodera), Yoshiro Kitahara (Professor Amano), Akira Natsuki (Ichiro Hirata), Ichirô Sugai (Dr. Matsushita), Yuzo Hayakawa (Kawajiri)

LogBook entry by Philip R. Frey

MST3K Story: It’s Christmastime, so Joel has decided to carbon-freeze Crow and use him as a Christmas tree because he’s the most “spindly”. He also contemplates using Servo as a “Frosty the Snowman”. After a caller (whose message gets a Punky Brewster background) asks who cuts Joel’s hair, the credits roll early so Joel can point out that it’s “Mr. Crow of Beverly Hills”. Later, Joel takes another call, then does a poll on movie colorization. Joel also gets calls from competing coalitions, each supporting different giant monsters. A review of the previous movie proves inconclusive. At episode’s close, Joel shows Gypsy how Crow was frozen, followed by a discussion of the Holiday season and a rendition of “O Tanenbot”.

Gamera Story: A scientific expedition to the Arctic led by Dr. Hidaka is disrupted by a dogfight that leads to an airplane crash. The explosion awakens Gamera, a giant monster turtle. Meanwhile, a young boy named Kenny is in trouble in school and at home because of his obsession with turtles. Forced to release his pet turtle to the wild, he comes upon Gamera and feels a kinship with the giant turtle. The humans try many different means of destroying Gamera without success. Kenny, who believes Gamera is good, eventually convinces them to use “Z Plan”, in which Gamera is trapped in a rocket and blasted into space. “Z Plan” is a success and Gamera is peacefully removed from the Earth.

MST3K segments written by Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, Josh Weinstein, Jim Mallon & Kevin Murphy
MST3K segments directed by Vince Rodriguez
Gamera written by Nisan Takahashi (as Fumi Takahashi)
Gamera directed by Noriaki Yuasa
Gamera music by Tadashi Yamauchi

MST3K Guest Cast: none

Gamera Cast: Eiji Funakoshi (Hidaka), Bokuzen Hidari (Old Man), Harumi Kiritachi (Kyoke), Yoshio Kitahara (Sakurai), Michiko Sugata (Nobuyo), Jun Hamamura (Dr. Murase), Junichiro Yamashita (Ayagi), Yoshiro Uchida (Toshio), Koji Fujiyama (Engineer)

LogBook entry by Philip R. Frey

MST3K Story: Joel is still pleased with the phone calls, but he wants the “scary guys with the low IQs” to stop calling and scaring Gypsy. Joel apologizes for all the giant turtle movies, but states that he doesn’t control what films are shown. He explains that the films are sent up by the mad scientists who shot him into space. Later, Joel puts Servo through puberty by changing his voice, taking it from a squeak to a “great dynamic mighty voice”. It immediately goes to Servo’s head. Gypsy also wants a new voice, but Joel thinks her voice is “kinda deep and sexy” and reminds him of Kim Carnes. A caller wants Crow unfrozen and Gypsy to join Joel in the theater. After showing the freezing of Crow again, Joel scolds Gypsy for eating Crow’s garland thinking it was “shiny spaghetti”. Joel gets an invitation to a young viewer’s birthday party. Since he’s trapped in space and can’t attend, the satellite is decorated in the boy’s honor and Servo gives him some life advice. At the close, Joel announces that they won’t be on during the Christmas holidays, but will return for a special New Years Eve broadcast.

Gamera Vs. Gaos Story: A volcanic eruption releases Gaos, a giant, bat-like creature with a laser beam and a taste for human blood. His rampage is delaying the building of an important road, disrupting not only the company, but also the locals who are negotiating the sale of their land for the road’s use. Several different methods are attempted to destroy Gaos, but none prove effective. Only the combined efforts of the Japanese scientific community, Gamera and Ichi (the grandson of the leader of the landowners), proves enough to defeat Gaos.

MST3K segments written by Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, Josh Weinstein, Jim Mallon & Kevin Murphy
MST3K segments directed by Vince Rodriguez
Gamera Vs. Gaos written by Nisan Takahashi (as Fumi Takahashi)
Gamera Vs. Gaos directed by Noriaki Yuasa
Gamera Vs. Gaos music by Tadashi Yamauchi

MST3K Guest Cast: none

Gamera Vs. Gaos Cast: Kojiro Hongo (Shiro Tsutsumi), Yoshiro Kitahara (Dr. Aoki), Reiko Kasahara (Sumiko Kanamura), Kichijiro Ueda (Tatsuemon Kanamura), Koji Fujiyama, Kyôko Enami, Eiko Yanami

LogBook entry by Philip R. Frey

MST3K Story: Joel thanks everyone for their calls and announces that Crow will soon be unfrozen. Servo wonders what Crow will think of his “dynamic mighty voice”. Finally thawed in time for the New Year, Crow is very annoyed after being shown what was done to him. Later, Joel receives his first transmission from the mad scientists who shot him into space: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Lawrence Erhardt. Joel wants to know when he can come back to Earth and the Mads say they’ll let him come down if he does a different show for them; one that involves being trapped deep in the transatlantic trench and watching nothing but Jacques Cousteau movies. Joel passes. The movie begins to make Joel very unhappy and the Bots are unable to cheer him up. Even viewer calls fail to do the trick. Just as Joel begins to feel better, they play a message in which the caller thinks Gypsy is a male. This makes her very upset. Late in the movie, midnight approaches and Joel and the Bots take time to discuss their hopes for the New Year. They then try to do a countdown, but are interrupted by Movie Sign. At the conclusion, Crow give the film a “claw up” while Servo thinks it’s “mediocre at best”. Joel wants to know why Japan has the jet planes used in the movie, since they’re supposed to be demilitarized since the war. He then announces next week’s movie before everyone says their goodbyes.

Gamera Vs. Zigra Story: A spaceship appears near the moon and attacks the International base there. Meanwhile, earthquakes are occurring all over the Earth. Two marine biologists and their children are kidnapped and taken aboard the spaceship. It is inhabited by a lone female humanoid. She states that they are from the planet Zigra and that they intend to conquer the Earth. The adults are hypnotized, but the children orchestrate an escape. They return to Earth where Gamera appears and takes them to safety. Gamera engages the alien spacecraft in battle and destroys it. The Zigra monster, a shark-like creature, survives and grows to enormous size. It ultimately defeats Gamera by turning him on his back. Meanwhile, the alien female, who had followed the children to Earth in order to kill them, is captured. She turns out to be a scientist who has been possessed by the Zigra aliens after being captured on the moon. Using her knowledge, along with that of the now-awakened marine biologists, Gamera is successfully revived and the Zigra monster defeated.

MST3K segments written by Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, Josh Weinstein, Jim Mallon & Kevin Murphy
MST3K segments directed by Vince Rodriguez
Gamera Vs. Zigra written by Nisan Takahashi (as Fumi Takahashi)
Gamera Vs. Zigra directed by Noriaki Yuasa
Gamera Vs. Zigra music by Shunsuke Kikuchi

MST3K Guest Cast: none

Gamera Vs. Zigra Cast: Eiko Yanami (Space Woman), Reiko Kasahara (Henry’s Sister), Koji Fujiyama (Tom), Isamu Saeki, Shin Minatsu, Yasushi Sakagami, Arlene Zoellner, Gloria Zoellner

LogBook entry by Philip R. Frey

MST3K Story: Joel and the Bots are hopeful that they won’t get another Gamera movie, but the Mads counter that turtles are going to be “big, really big”. Still, at first it seems like Joel will get his wish, since the Mads have run out of Gamera films. They briefly contemplate sending a good movie like Star Wars or Jaws, but Dr. Erhardt finds Gamera vs. Guiron at the last moment. At a break, Gypsy accidentally drops a piece of heavy equipment on Crow and he dreams that he is on Earth in the Mads’ control room and that the Mads are stuck on the “Satellite of Loathe”. In his dream, Crow has been sending them Planet Of The Apes Christmas over and over again. Joel wakes Crow up just as they go to commercial. This incident leads Joel and the Bots to an extended discussion on the nature of dreams. After singing a snippet of Satellite of Love with the Bots at the episode’s end, Joel announces that “Kent” is doing a survey back on Earth and that next week there won’t be another Gamera movie.

Gamera Vs. Guiron Story: Akio, a Japanese boy, spots a space ship through his telescope and observes it landing at the park. Akio, his friend Tom and sister Tomoko go out in search of the ship and find it. Akio and Tom climb aboard and the ship launches, carrying them into space. Gamera attempts to stop them, but the ship accelerates too fast. Back on Earth, Tomoko tries to get help, but none of the adults believe her story except one policeman. The boys eventually land on an alien planet where they witness a furious battle between a “Space-Gaos” and a monster whose razor-sharp snout slices the Space-Gaos to pieces. Running from the monster, Akio and Tom find themselves inside an alien city where they meet two female aliens, Belladonna and Flovera. They explain that they control the monster and that it is called Guiron. They also say they need to leave the planet and that they want to take the boys back to Earth with them. Their true intentions are revealed when they drug Akio and Tom and state that they will use the boys as food. Gamera finally arrives and is initially defeated by Guiron, falling onto his back on the bottom of the ocean. The boys find out about the aliens’ plan and eventually escape and revive Gamera. With the boys’ help, Gamera defeats Guiron in a battle that also leads to the aliens’ death. Gamera then takes the boys back to their families on Earth.

MST3K segments written by Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, Josh Weinstein, Jim Mallon & Kevin Murphy
MST3K segments directed by Vince Rodriguez
Gamera Vs. Guiron written by Nisan Takahashi (as Fumi Takahashi)
Gamera Vs. Guiron directed by Noriaki Yuasa
Gamera Vs. Guiron music by Shunsuke Kikuchi

MST3K Guest Cast: none

Gamera Vs. Guiron Cast: Nobuhiro Kazima (Akio), Miyuki Akiyama (Tomoko), Christopher Murphy (Tom), Yuko Hamada (Kuniko), Eiji Funakoshi (Dr. Shiga), Kon Omura (Officer Kondo), Reiko Kasahara (Flovera), Edith Hanson (Elsa, Tom’s mother)

LogBook entry by Philip R. Frey

MST3K Story: The Mads are in trouble. Their boss, “Old Leadbottom”, has found out they’ve been embezzling money for their experiment on Joel. To make matters worse, they’ve spent their grant money on customizing the Mad Scientist-mobile. They need $40,000 to bring Joel back, so they sold his car. Joel tells them he had $40,000 in it all along, so they send him “the ant movie” as punishment. Joel takes the opportunity of a break to teach the Bots the “Three Robotic Laws”, but they don’t take them seriously, stating the third law is “Give a hoot, don’t pollute.” Later, Joel and the Bots discuss what they’re going to do when they get back to Earth. A game of “I Spy” concludes with an impromptu a cappella rendition of “Wipe Out”. After the movie, Joel announces that they are looking into creating a fan club and asks people who are interested to call in. Joel ends the broadcast by having Crow and Gypsy recite the “Fourth Robotic Law”, which he wrote himself: “Don’t be surprised if somewhere, sometime, when you least expect it, someone walks up to you and says ‘Don’t be surprised if somewhere, sometime, when you least expect it, someone walks up to you and says “Don’t be surprised…”‘”

Phase IV Story: A mysterious solar phenomenon has caused odd behavior amongst the world’s ant population. James Lesko, a specialist in game theory, joins Dr. Ernest D. Hobbs in investigating the ants’ activities. Hobbs had found that ants had been engaging in a high level of socialization: meeting and planning, even across species. The scientists operate in a biosphere outside a housing development that had been overrun by the ants. The only people in the area are a farmer named Eldridge, his wife Mildred, granddaughter Kendra and hired hand Clete. Once they have settled in, Hobbs and Lesko find that the ants have built tall towers, a clear indication of their advanced intelligence. The scientists attempt to contact the ants, with Hobbs finally resorting to destroying their towers to rile them. The ants respond by destroying the scientists’ generator. The Eldridge family has also been run off of their farm. Fleeing to the scientists’ camp, they are caught in a barrage of poison sent by Hobbs to stop the ants. The only survivor is Kendra. Once rescued, Kendra upsets an experiment Hobbs is performing on some of the ants, resulting in Hobbs being bitten and the ants getting a sample of the scientist’s poison. The ants, now immune, step up their attacks: disabling the biosphere’s communications and heating it to the point where the computers fail. The poison from the bite causes Hobbs to become increasingly erratic. He hatches a plan to defeat the ants by destroying their Queen. Meanwhile, Lesko uses geometry to communicate with the ants and reaches the conclusion that the ants want one of them. Kendra, thinking it’s she the ants are after, runs away, giving herself over to the ants. Hobbs tries to go after the Queen himself, but the ants have dug a trap for him and he succumbs. Lesko, with no options left, tries to execute Hobbs’ plan. Eventually, he finds what he believes to be the Queen’s lair, only to discover Kendra: safe, but altered. He comes to the realization that it was the two of them the ants wanted all along. The world belongs to the ants now and mankind will be taught its place.

MST3K segments written by Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, Josh Weinstein, Jim Mallon & Kevin Murphy
MST3K segments directed by Vince Rodriguez
Phase IV written by Mayo Simon
Phase IV directed by Saul Bass
Phase IV music by Brian Gascoigne

MST3K Guest Cast: none

Phase IV Cast: Nigel Davenport (Hobbs), Michael Murphy (Lesko), Lynne Frederick (Kendra), Alan Gifford (Mr. Eldridge), Robert Henderson (Clete), Helen Horton (Mildred)

LogBook entry by Philip R. Frey

MST3K Story: Hoping to watch the Super Bowl, the Mads decide to send the movie (which is just two episodes of Space: 1999 stitched together) using an auxiliary transmitter they bought with the profits from the sale of “No-D” glasses. Later, Crow gives Joel a haircut and they engage in typical barbershop chit-chat. At a break, Crow cons Servo into testing the theory of evolution by trying to fly. Servo crashes, causing a disagreement between the Bots that lasts for some time. Crow and Servo begin to do Joel’s taxes, but are upset to learn that they are “business expenses”. When the movie finally ends, Joel, Gypsy and Crow play a little catch, culminating in Joel singing a horribly off-key rendition of “We Are The Champions” and the Bots getting into a tickle fight.

Cosmic Princess Story: A prologue tells us that in the year 1999, the moon was blasted out of its orbit around the Earth and hurtled off into space. Its only inhabitants, the crew of Moonbase Alpha, struggle for survival against terrible odds. First, the “Alphans” confront Mentor, an alien who is attempting to revitalize his dead planet Psychon by using the psychic energy of aliens who wander near. He captures an Alphan exploratory ship, feeding one of the crew’s minds into his “biological computer”, Psyche. Then he captures Moonbase Alpha’s leader, Commander John Koenig, along with Medical Officer Dr. Helen Russell and astronaut Alan Carter. Mentor plans to use the remaining Alphans to complete his goal. Mentor’s shape-shifting daughter Maya is unaware of the deadly affects of “helping” Mentor, believing her father’s methods to be benign. Koenig is able to convince her of the truth, allowing him to escape and defeat Mentor. With the destruction of his world imminent, Mentor pleads with Koenig to take Maya to safety. Later, Koenig and crew member Tony Verdeschi get trapped on the other side of a “space warp” that has sent the Moon millions of miles away from its previous position. Back on Moonbase Alpha, Maya is having hallucinations and is transforming into various deadly creatures in a delusional attempt to return to her father. She is eventually cured of her madness, just as Koenig and Tony find a way through the warp and rejoin Moonbase Alpha.

MST3K segments written by Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, Josh Weinstein, Jim Mallon & Kevin Murphy
MST3K segments directed by Vince Rodriguez
Cosmic Princess written by Johnny Byrne & Fred Freiberger (as Charles Woodgrove)
Cosmic Princess directed by Charles Crichton & Peter Medak
Cosmic Princess music by Derek Wadsworth
additional music by Barry Gray

MST3K Guest Cast: none

Cosmic Princess Cast: Martin Landau (Koenig), Barbara Bain (Russell), Catherine Schell (Maya), Brian Blessed (Mentor), Tony Anholt (Verdeschi), Nick Tate (Carter), Zienia Merton (Sandra Benes), Anouska Hempel (Annette Fraser)

LogBook entry by Philip R. Frey

MST3K Story: The Mads are caught using 3D glasses on a cardboard cut-out of Elvira. They’re also upset that Joel’s ratings actually went up against the Super Bowl. When Joel mentions that they had previously been upset when the ratings were low, Dr. Forrester points out that they’re mad, after all, so what should he expect? Joel and the Bots later play a game of tag that continues even into the theater, leading Joel to declare the theater a “free zone”. Later, Tom Servo meets the girl of his dreams. But just as he’s chatting her up, Joel comes along and drinks juice out of her head. Servo is, naturally, very upset, but gets over it once he learns she’s a blender. At the next break, a tribute to Salvador Dali sees the Satellite of Love overrun by surrealism. After a brief discussion of the Village People, Joel asks Crow what he’ll be up to in the coming week. He doesn’t seem to have much going on. Joel asks that callers not tell them what kind of movies to show, since they can’t control them, anyway. A “Dating Game Kiss” brings an end to the proceedings.

Humanoid Woman Story: A spaceship comes upon a derelict that seems to be the remains of a cloning operation. The ship is lifeless, save for one female survivor. She is taken to the home of a leading researcher, Sergei Lebedev, to determine whether she is a danger or not. Although she has amnesia, she identifies herself as Niya and has memories of her home planet. She finds herself being drawn to Lebedev’s son, Stepan. Encouraged by Lebedev’s associate, Nadezhda Ivanova, Niya begins to have flashbacks to her past, including memories of her “father”, Glan. When representatives of the planet Dessa visit Earth, Niya realizes she is from that planet. She stows away onboard the Astra, a ship traveling to Dessa with the mission to help revitalize the planet. Also on board are Dr. Ivanova, Stepan, and Rakan, the Ambassador from Dessa, who was a friend of Glan’s. They eventually arrive on Dessa to find it virtually lifeless. The only inhabitants occupy underground tunnels and shun the deadly surface of the planet. The Earthlings begin their mission and successfully create an oxygen atmosphere. Turanchoks, a would-be dictator who is using Rakan to further his own ends, attempts to ruin the revitalization plans by poisoning the water and fomenting unrest. He is also able to control Niya through the machinery Glan left behind. When Rakan refuses to continue helping with Turanchoks’ plans, he is stabbed. Near death, Rakan unleashes an amoeba-like creature to destroy those who had betrayed him. Meanwhile, Turanchoks uses his control over Niya to send her to the Astra to destroy it. The attempt is thwarted and Dr. Ivanova is killed during an attempt on Niya’s life. The shock of Ivanova’s death allows Niya to break the mind control that has plagued her. The creature let loose by Rakan, meanwhile, kills Turanchoks and begins to spread over the planet surface. Niya, with the help of the remaining crew, is able to control the creature and its dispersal helps the planet return to life. Despite pleas from Stepan to return to Earth with him, Niya stays behind to help with her planet’s rebirth.

MST3K segments written by Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, Josh Weinstein, Jim Mallon & Kevin Murphy
MST3K segments directed by Vince Rodriguez
Humanoid Woman written by Kir Bulychyov & Richard Viktorov (as Kir Brown & Richard Victor)
Humanoid Woman directed by Richard Viktorov (as Richard Victor)
Humanoid Woman music by Aleksei Rybnikov

MST3K Guest Cast: none

Humanoid Woman Cast: Yelena Metyolkina (Niya), Vadim Ledogorov (Stepan Lebedev), Uldis Lieldidz (Sergei Lebedev), Yelena Fadeyeva (Maria Pavlovna), Vatslav Dvorzhetsky (Petr Petrovich), Nadezhda Semyontsova (Nadezhda Ivanova), Aleksandr Lazarev (Klimov), Aleksandr Mikhajlov (Dreier), Boris Shcherbakov (Kolotin), Igor Ledogorov (Rakan), Igor Yasulovich (Torki), Gleb Strizhenov (Glan), Vladimir Fyodorov (Turanchoks)

LogBook entry by Philip R. Frey

MST3K Story: Dr. Forrester is attending a Mad Scientist convention in Vegas (he’s staying at Caesar’s, room 666). Dr. Erhardt gives him a call, but is distressed to learn Dr. Forrester has been seeing one of the stars of “La Cage au Faux”. While Dr. Forrester tries to use Dr. Erhardt’s “system” to get more funding, Joel is beginning to get upset at being trapped in space. Despite disparaging remarks concerning the title of this week’s movie, Joel still thinks enough of it to perform “The Theme to Fugitive Alien“. When they go into the theater, Joel notices that Crow is missing and Servo is sitting in his seat. Servo has nothing to say on the matter. Only the threat of getting a voice like Punky Brewster gets even a reaction from him. Gypsy gives the game away, though, by coming in with Crow’s head. Joel doesn’t buy Servo’s excuse that they were just trying to install a popcorn popper for Joel’s birthday. Joel and Crow take some time to discuss celebrities who you never see together, like Michael Jackson and Diana Ross or Jim Bacchus and Richard Nixon. Joel holds a dance contest and Gypsy wins, despite getting a zero on her lip synch. Joel announces that an official fan club has been started and invites people to write in or call. The show ends abruptly with a “Let’s Go!” from Servo and an “All right” from Joel.

Fugitive Alien Story: The Wolf Raiders make a brutal attack on Earth in an attempt to conquer the planet. One Raider, Ken, finds himself unable to kill a child. When his partner attempts to kill the child himself, Ken attempts to restrain him, but accidentally causes his death. Now labeled a traitor, Ken goes on the run. After a long chase, Ken eludes the Raiders by exiting his ship just before blowing it up. An Earth starship, Bacchus 3, rescues him, unaware of who he is. The crew do not trust Ken, but his knowledge and skill allow the Bacchus 3 to escape the attacking Raiders. Back on Earth, Ken escapes from the authorities and attempts to get off planet. Sneaking aboard a starship, he is confronted by Captain Joe of the Bacchus 3. Captain Joe has just learned his whole family has been killed by the Raiders. Seeing Ken’s remorse, Captain Joe decides to take him on as a crew member. Meanwhile, back on Ken’s home planet of Valna, the evil ruler sends an assassin after Ken: Rita, Ken’s girlfriend and the sister of his partner. The Bacchus 3 is sent to the planet Carraro on a mission for the government. Ken is arrested while exploring the planet and imprisoned. He breaks out, frees a captive officer of the planet Cesar, and together they attempt to rendezvous with the Bacchus 3. They are rescued by Rita, who has tracked Ken to Carraro. After an emotional reunion, Rita finds herself unable to kill Ken. When they are ambushed, Rita is tragically killed. Ken and the Cesar officer finally meet the Bacchus 3, but Ken’s adventures are just beginning.

MST3K segments written by Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, Josh Weinstein, Jim Mallon & Kevin Murphy
MST3K segments directed by Vince Rodriguez
Fugitive Alien written by Keiichi Abe, Bunkou Wakatsuki (as Bunzou Wakatsuki), Yoshihisa Araki, Hiroyasu Yamamura (as Hiroyasu Yamaura), Hideyoshi Nagasaki (as Hideyoshi Nagasaka) & Toyohiro Andô (as Toyohiro Andou)
Fugitive Alien directed by Minoru Kanaya & Kiyosumi Kuzakawa (as Kiyosumi Kukazawa)
Fugitive Alien music by Norio Maeda

MST3K Guest Cast: none

Fugitive Alien Cast: Tatsuya Azuma (Ken), Miyuki Tanigawa (Tammy), Joe Shishido (Captain Joe), Choei Takahashi (Rocky), Tsutomu Yukawa (Dan), Hiro Tateyama (Biri), Keiko Mari (Rita), Akihiko Hirata

LogBook entry by Philip R. Frey

MST3K Story: Before the credits, Joel and the Bots sing the “SST Death Flight Theme Song.” Dr. Forrester has returned from Vegas with sacks and sacks of money that he won playing Keno. He has a few gifts for Dr. Erhardt and a really bad movie for Joel that Bert Convy gave him in a parking lot. At the first break, Joel tries to give Servo some idea what pain feels like. Servo laughs off the “stub your toe” and “fiery Yugo crash” settings, but really feels it at the “Arsenio” setting. Gypsy’s voice suddenly becomes soft and sultry. She sings “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” for Joel, but he doesn’t understand why she sounds so different. Servo finally admits he was throwing his voice. Later, Servo sings “The Banana Boat Song” while the rest of the crew dances the Limbo. After the movie, Joel and the Bots answer their first viewer mail and invite people to keep writing in.

SST – Death Flight Story: The Maiden flight of a new Super Sonic Transport brings together a myriad of different people. They include out-of-work sportscaster Lyle Kingman and his wife, promotions director Tim Vernon and his girlfriend Angela, the plane’s designer Willy Basset, potential buyer Hank Fairbanks, and Dr. Ralph Therman who is bringing a sample of a deadly form of influenza to Paris. The ship is piloted by Captain Jim Walsh, whose by-the-book attitude led to Fairbanks losing his pilot’s license. Further complicating things for Fairbanks, the head Stewardess is his ex-girlfriend, Mae. Meanwhile, disgruntled mechanic Les Phillips has sabotaged the hydraulics system in order to force the flight to turn back. Walsh refuses to believe that the plane is in danger until Phillips admits to the sabotage, but by then it is too late: the plane could crash at any moment. An attempt to re-route the pressure goes wrong and a massive explosion rocks the plane. To make matters worse, the influenza sample is released by the explosion and the passengers begin to show symptoms of the disease. When this is learned on the ground, Paris refuses to allow the plane to land. Diplomacy is brought to bear to allow them to land in London, but the passengers decide to go with an alternate plan of landing in Senegal, the only place in reach where proper quarantine facilities exist. Unfortunately, they don’t have enough fuel and they go down in the jungle. Although several passengers die, most are rescued and the spread of the virus is stopped.

MST3K segments written by Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, Josh Weinstein, Jim Mallon & Kevin Murphy
MST3K segments director unknown
SST – Death Flight written by Meyer Dolinsky, Robert L. Joseph & William Roberts
from a story by Guerdon Trueblood
SST – Death Flight directed by David Lowell Rich
SST – Death Flight music by John Cacavas

MST3K Guest Cast: Faye Burkholder (Puppet Operation and Voices)

SST – Death Flight Cast: Bert Convy (Vernon), Peter Graves (Paul Whitley), Lorne Greene (Cole), Tina Louise (Mae), George Maharis (Les Phillips), Burgess Meredith (Basset), Doug McClure (Fairbanks), Martin Milner (Kingman), Brock Peters (Therman), Robert Reed (Walsh), Susan Strasberg (Nancy Kingman), Chrystie Jenner (Kathy), Misty Rowe (Angela), Billy Crystal (David), John de Lancie (Bob Connors), Regis Philbin (Harry Carter), Robert Ito (Roy Nakamura)

LogBook entry by Philip R. Frey

MST3K Story: Dr. Forrester and Dr. Erhardt are having an argument over changing their approach. Dr. Erhardt feels they aren’t really mad scientists, just angry. Dr. Forrester thinks Dr. Erhardt has turned into Florence Henderson. Joel’s been listening in since Thursday and Dr. Erhardt has a casserole in the oven. The Bots latest attempt at humor involves welding themselves together. Joel only thinks it’s funny once they add women’s underwear to the ensemble. Later, Crow and Servo discuss how they can’t understand what humans find funny, including the appeal of Punky Brewster. Servo thinks Joel’s recent comedy attempts are an indication of a fatal error. He suggests destroying Joel as a solution. When Crow bowls for the Inter-Satellite Championship, the shoes lead him to accidentally reveal his sense of smell. Joel wants to play something else, but the Bots aren’t interested in playing Murderball or Rock-Scissors-Paper, making Joel regret giving the Bots free will. After the movie, Joel and the Bots answer some viewer mail. They all have fans, but Servo gets fired up by his female fan.

Mighty Jack Story: An evil organization known as Q has been wreaking havoc all over the world. A paramilitary group code-named “Mighty Jack” is formed to combat Q. Meanwhile in Tokyo, the mysterious Harold Atari is kidnapped. Colonel Yubuki, leader of Mighty Jack, believes Q to be behind the kidnapping, so he sends Mighty Jack on a rescue mission. Jerry, the forward scout sent in to locate Atari, is captured. Together, Jerry and Atari contact Mighty Jack and are rescued after a furious battle. It is only then that Atari reveals that he is the new Commander of Mighty Jack. Their next assignment is to investigate a missing Antarctic installation. They find a Q base hidden inside an iceberg, built with freezing technology previously unknown. Their investigations lead to several suspects: scientists Dr. Takibana and his son Fritz, the mysterious Manuel Perez, and international reporter Roberto Okamura. Eventually it is revealed that Fritz is behind the theft of the technology with the help of Perez and Okamura. The efforts of the Mighty Jack team lead to their deaths, the destruction of the freezing device and the defeat of Q.

MST3K segments written by Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, Josh Weinstein, Jim Mallon, Kevin Murphy & Faye Burkholder
MST3K segments director unknown
Mighty Jack written by Shinichi Sekizawa & Eizaburou Siba
Mighty Jack directed by Kazuho Mitsuta
Mighty Jack music by Isao Tomita

MST3K Guest Cast: Alexandra Carr & Faye Burkholder (Puppet Operations and Voices)

Mighty Jack Cast: Hideaki Nitani, Naoko Kobo, Hiroshi Ninami, Eisei Amamoto, Masanari Nhei, Wakako Ikeda, Akira Kasuga, Seikou Fukioka, Noriaki Inoue, Yoshitaka Tanaka, Mitsubu Ohya, Eijirou Yanagi, Kenji Sahara

LogBook entry by Philip R. Frey

MST3K Story: Servo starts writing a letter to his Uncle Wally, pausing once he realizes that he doesn’t have one. He continues writing anyway, flashing back to the day before when he convinced the Mads to send them all back to Earth. Crow, however, ruins the plan by insulting them, resulting in Superdome being sent in retaliation. Servo continues his letter-inspired reminiscences by flashing back to the pain experiment Joel performed on him and, later, to a heavily subjective view of Joel and the other Bots’ recent behavior. A “videotaped montage piece” runs as Servo thinks of the good times on board the Satellite of Love. He’s annoyed to learn there’s more movie and that the episode won’t end on his dramatic montage. Servo has so completely exhausted himself with talking about the movie that he’s in sick bay at the close. Joel and Crow take a look at some artwork sent in by fans as well as some letters and a photo of a fan with his cat, which the fan claims looks like Crow. He admits to seeing a similarity. After another pitch for the MST3000 Fan Club, Joel and Crow say good night.

Superdome Story: It’s Superbowl time in New Orleans and it’s the Cougars versus the Rangers. Cougars linebacker Dave Walecki and his wife are having marital difficulties. P.K. Jackson, a former player, is trying to fix the game for his backers in New York. Agent Chip Green is trying to save his job by signing Cougars quarterback Jim McCauley. Cougars general manager Mike Shelley is carrying on a romance with reporter Lainie Wylie, who followed him to New Orleans. Things start to heat up when a man from league security is killed. A stewardess who witnessed the murder also turns up dead and her death is blamed on Cougars player Scott Hennerson. During all this, Green is making no progress with McCauley and things are worsening for the Waleckis. P.K. Jackson tries to drug McCauley to keep him out of the game, but Green’s daughter Gail, who was trying to soften up McCauley, is drugged instead and nearly dies. The operative from New York turns out to be Lainie, who has used her connection to Shelley to gain access. The murders were part of the New York Syndicate’s attempt to fix the game. Lainie is eventually cornered, where she reveals all. Lainie’s last attempt on McCauley, wiring up the hot tub to electrocute him, is thwarted. Green quits his job, the Waleckis make up and the game is able to begin uninterrupted.

MST3K segments written by Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, Josh Weinstein, Jim Mallon, Kevin Murphy & Faye Burkholder
MST3K segments director unknown
Superdome written by Barry Oringer
from a story by Barry Oringer and Bill Svanoe
Superdome directed by Jerry Jameson
Superdome music by John Cacavas

MST3K Guest Cast: none

Superdome Cast: David Janssen (Mike Shelley), Edie Adams (Joyce), Clifton Davis (Jackson), Ken Howard (Walecki), Susan Howard (Nancy), Van Johnson (Green), Donna Mills (Wylie), Ed Nelson (Beldridge), Tom Selleck (McCauley), Bubba Smith (Moses), Dick Butkus (Hennerson), Michael Pataki (Tony), M. Emmet Walsh (Whitley), Robin Mattson (Gail)

LogBook entry by Philip R. Frey

MST3K Story: The Mads have received notice from the Mad Scientists’ League that they are actually “mildly peeved researchers” and may have their licenses revoked. Dr. Forrester worries that they will have to re-enter the private sector. Dr. Erhardt doesn’t want to go back to fruit inspection. To illustrate to Dr. Erhardt how the movies they show utilize science, the Mads watch City On Fire at the same time they send it to Joel. The Bots set up a telescope so they can run the old “black ink on the eyepiece” joke on Joel. When Joel tries to demonstrate a new invention, the Hell-In-A-Handbag, the Bots begin to lose themselves in their roles. The successful test scares the bejeezus out of Crow, which is sweet revenge for Joel. Later Joel has the Bots perform a “double time” march to a chant about their situation on the Satellite of Love. After the movie, Gypsy shows up, having been working on the newsletter and fan club materials. Joel shows the stuff off and suggests people write in to join.

City On Fire Story: A series of events play out around the opening of a new hospital. The Mayor, William Dudley, is attempting to set up a run for Governor while at the same time wooing Diana Brockhurst-Lautrec, the widow of the previous Governor. Dr. Frank Whitman, the head of the new hospital and a figure from Diana’s past, is dealing with the fact that government cutbacks have left the hospital poorly equipped to serve its purpose. Herman Stover, a worker in the local refinery who went to school with Diana, loses his job. This, combined with his obsession with Diana and growing resentment, leads Herman to sabotage the refinery. This causes a massive fire that spreads quickly, consuming whole neighborhoods and eventually threatening the hospital itself. Following the action are the fire chief, Albert Risley, and an opportunistic news reporter, Maggie Grayson. Things take a turn for the worse when the fire surrounds the hospital, causing a firestorm, which begins to consume the oxygen inside. A desperate plan to rescue the patients mostly succeeds, although many lives are lost.

MST3K segments written by Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, Josh Weinstein, Jim Mallon & Kevin Murphy
MST3K segments directed by Todd Ziegler
City On Fire written by Jack Hill & David P. Lewis and Céline La Frenière
City On Fire directed by Alvin Rakoff
City On Fire music by William & Matthew McCauley

MST3K Guest Cast: none

City On Fire Cast: Barry Newman (Frank Whitman), Susan Clark (Diana Brockhurst-Lautrec), Shelley Winters (Nurse Andrea Harper), Leslie Nielsen (Mayor William Dudley), James Franciscus (Jimbo), Ava Gardner (Maggie Grayson), Henry Fonda (Chief Albert Risley), Jonathan Welsh (Herman Stover), Hilary Labow (Mrs. Adams), Richard Donat (Capt. Harrison Risley)

LogBook entry by Philip R. Frey