Category: Funny Stuff

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Funny Stuff Television & Movies

Torpedoed!

Star Trek RemasteredWell, so much for me taping the remastered classic Star Trek episodes every week. With the end of their UPN affiliation, the station that used to be this area’s UPN station has folded like a deck of cards since the arrival of the WB. I take this kinda personally, because this is a station that (A) I helped to build in its early days, and (2) I promoted Star Trek aggressively on in its early days. Now KFDF is just one of the many low-power translators rebroadcasting KPBI’s My Network TV signal. (As I discovered from observation this weekend, My Network is a new upstart created by Fox, so they have a place to show the second-string material that’s actually – get this – too cheap, cheesy and tawdry to show on Fox itself. Can you even imagine such depths?) So Star Trek’s remastered episodes have vanished from the Fort Smith/Fayetteville market, along with Smallville strip syndication reruns and a bunch of other stuff. 😡 You know, I know it’s all going to wind up on DVD inside of a year or so, but I’d just like to see the damn things on-air because I really have no intention of buying yet another iteration of the series on DVD. Again. … Read more

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Critters Funny Stuff Home Base

What IS it with people?!?

Those people in the other cars, I mean. Why is it that, when I’m just trying to pass on the left on the highway without completely trashing the speed limit, so many of the people I’m trying to pass suddenly decide to make a race out of it, as if I’m somehow threatening their very existence? I guarantee you, if I’m trying to pass on the left, no one will think any less of you or relieve you of whatever social status you hold because you got passed. It just means I need to drive faster than 55 miles per hour, and I figure it’s a simple matter to just pass you rather than be late to work because the person driving in front of me is tottering along and talking on the phone. Clearly you’re capable of driving the speed limit, be it 65 or 70 – clearly, because the moment I pull out into the left lane and crank it up to 65, you’re suddenly doing freakin’ 80 (i.e. waythehelloverthespeedlimit), because God forbid anyone should be unwilling to take a back seat to the guy who’s yakking while he’s driving.
Sometimes I daydream about a 007-style Aston-Martin tricked out with all kinds of gears that’d get other folks outta my way. Except make it a Corsica. I’m on a budget.
In other news, my first experiment in scanning negatives with the previously mentioned scanner has yielded an unexpected surprise – now you can see what it was like when I finally moved out of my parents’ house and got a life. (Well, okay, okay, good point – but at the very least I moved out of my parents’ house.)… Read more

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Critters Funny Stuff

Pooch smooches!

Smooched by a poochThis happens every morning, only this time I had my camera at the ready so I can show you people what kind of abuse I take when I get home from work.
I mean really, what can you do? You’re already sitting down. The dog weighs over 80 pounds and is practically standing in your lap. So you might as well soak up the puppy love and get some pooch smooches. See the video here.… Read more

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Funny Stuff Toiling In The Pixel Mines

Well damn. What do I come to work for, then?

So, sometime back at work, they swapped two PCs: a “public” computer in the newsroom, frequently used by photogs, cam ops, or anyone else, and seldom used to actually look at anything work-related; and the specially equipped computer I used to send video to the station’s web site. Now I have to go to the newsroom and chase people off of the web video machine so I can do what I need to do there, and in the meantime, I now have in my office the buggiest, most spyware-and-virus-filled machine I think I have ever set eyes on.
Simply having the thing turned on is a hazard. The spyware that’s embedded deep into the machine’s brain constantly tries to pop up browser windows, even while the machine is sitting, unattended, with an empty desktop and no programs running. And then a browser will open of its own accord and try to go to a specific URL. That’s when the mighty Hearst-Argyle content filter kicks in to strut its funky stuff:
Hearst-Argyle - purveyors of fine internet porn since 2006
In the time it took me to type this, the above window popped up no fewer than six times. 😆 And just think – the same cam ops and photogs who got this ex-newsroom machine so clogged with malware that it can barely function? They’re now doing the same to a machine that’s vital to the operation and security of our website content!
Yes, this switcheroo was a brilliant plan.… Read more

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Funny Stuff

…and Freud said, “Can I buy ze Colecovision from you?”

So I had a dream this morning. I dreamed that it was Saturday morning, I was getting ready for OVGE, and I had proceeded to sleep the hell in. I dreamed that I was slamming my stuff together to go pick up Kent (why hadn’t he called!?) and then a simple flip of a light switch caused a flash and a tendril of very worrying smoke. I dreamed that closer investigation of the switch revealed that there were little bugs burrowing into the wood of my house – all of the wood. I called an exterminator, who hastily told me that this was some new breed of mega-termites, and they literally appeared overnight all over the country, maybe some bioengineered terrorist plot.
A section of my kitchen wall neatly fell away into the back yard. I swear, if it’s not one goddamn thing with this house, it’s another.
Then I woke up. Now keep two of the basic parts of that dream’s premise in mind: Saturday. OVGE. Overslept. 8:15am.
I sat bolt upright and broke out in a sweat. It’ll be at least 10:30 before I can get there. My God, I’m going to be setting up in the middle of the damned show! Why hadn’t Kent called!?
Then I realized: it’s only Wednesday. I’m on vacation. Days to go before the show. Relax. I laid back down at about the time Olivia pounced on me. Har de har har, I thought, this’ll make a cute blog entry.
Then I realized something else: I’m supposed to feed horses this morning. If it’s not one thing…….
Gotta go. Wait a minute, do they even have termites in the middle east?!? Arrrrrrggghhh.… Read more

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Funny Stuff

At least I had some form of pants on.

So I’m still eagerly awaiting the second box of the great Star Wars Haul of 2006, and there ws a knock on the door this morning not long after I woke up. The first order of business before opening any door in this house is to Secure The Kitten, for she is mischief incarnate on four little furry legs and is curious as, well, a cat. So I grabbed some shorts and got them on, grabbed Olivia, and then opened the door.
Now, let me just say that, for folks who are in the business of either saving your soul or informing you that your soul needs urgent saving, it seems like the sight of a barefoot guy wearing khaki shorts and not much else, and brandishing a squirming kitten who looked like she was kickboxing the air, seemed to scare off a couple of perfectly good Jehovah’s Witnesses in very short order. Or maybe it was me saying, “And here I was hoping for the Death Star.” All of that stuff rolled up together seems like it should almost be indicative of someone who really needs some help. 😆 But leave they did.
Just gotta survive tonight at work and then I can relax, rest, and get ready for OVGE. The table layout can now be seen here, and I’ll be hawking some wares such as Doctor Who CDs, assorted DVDs and maybe even a game or two. Plus you can drop by and play with a real live Magnavox Odyssey, Altair 8800 or Atari Video Music – now how cool is that?… Read more