Categories
This cat deliberately left blank
“We’ll decide the exact photo and quote later, right now we just need an idea of the layout…”
…well okay then.… Read more
Category: Funny Stuff
Categories
I believe it’s pronounced “throatwarbler mangrove”
Apparently in Chinese I am:
Whether that actually translates to “Earl Green” or perhaps “an earl who is green” or “fat American wanker who keeps sending packaging revisions“, I have no idea. 😆… Read more
Categories
I am become death, destroyer of eating establishments
Yesterday I ate at Hamburger Barn with friends. It’s closing down for good soon.
Today I went to Back Yard Burgers in Fayetteville, since I was already up there to do a drug screen for more of that sweet, sweet IT contract work, and it has gone out of business.
So I have a new idea to make a buck: I am the kiss of death to eating establishments. You run a restaurant? You can pay me NOT to show up.
Nice eatery there. It’d be a shame if something had to…”happen” to it. Something like me!
And I’m reasonable – there will be tiered levels for all budgets. You can only pay so much? I’ll only show up about once every month or so, but I’ll still be there, the food service grim reaper following my every step. Don’t want to take any chances? You’ll have to pony up for me to never darken your door.
Contact me for my paypal details, we’ll do lunch. OR NOT. YOUR CHOICE.… Read more
Categories
A haiku for, and about, the internet
Eroding away
Disinformation and rage
What’s left? Look! Kittens!… Read more
Categories
Scenes from a birthday party
The scene: birthday party for one of Little E’s classmates. Due to bad weather (i.e. incessant rain), the party has moved from the park to indoors at the church the birthday boy’s family attends. It’s still pretty good fun, pizza, cake, the whole works. At one point there’s an attempt to do a hula hoop contest (spoiler: the repeated “contest” attempts fall into chaos pretty quickly and the kids go back to doing what they were doing before). One of the hula hoops is missing though. “Where’s the other hula hoop?” … Read more
Categories
Ultimutt IV: Pooch of the Avatar
I’m not sure which is the greater virtue of the two, so I have requested the guidance of @RichardGarriott on Twitter. I’ll let you know what he says, if anything.
P.S. If playing with the dog is the wrong choice, I’m pretty sure I got a black bead here.… Read more
Categories
ATTN: MGMT.
Why are you looking at me like that, human? I have seen how this works with the little human. MAKE WITH THE FOOD.
Geez, the service here sucks.… Read more
Categories
RAD TECHNO
Why can’t employers be bothered to list the actual job title when they submit stuff to Indeed? I applied for something labeled “RAD TECHNO” with visions of thumpin’ EDM and maybe some glowsticks in my head, only to discover that they wanted a Radiologic Technologist. Apparently my offer to “rave this shit up” in my cover letter didn’t impress.
Categories
I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for…a WHATburger?
I still screen my mail with Mailwasher, and it’s a memory hog that sometimes “sticks” when I open the usually-minimized window, resulting in momentary, fleeting mashups of multiple spammy subject lines.
But none as epic as this one I just saw:
“I had 3 orgasms yesterday – Loans available for your business”
Yes, please. Loan me an orgasm. I promise to give it back to you. With interest. 😆… Read more
Categories
Force feeding
This advance promotion for next year’s Star Wars movie is a bit on the early side, don’t you think, Sonic?
Tater tots, you will have with that?… Read more
