Category: Funny Stuff
The Mayor vs. the Devil
What’s the matter, Mr. Mayor? Is it…Satan?
Seems a local small-town mayor is bedeviled by his past, in which he supposedly fought a pitched battle with a satanic cult and then came to Arkansas under an assumed name (which I assume wasn’t Beelzebubba).
My gut tells me that this guy has just fed the local media a lot of deviled ham. Or maybe he’s doing something totally goofy so he can have a publicly-known example of “mental incompetence” before some real piece of news about him hits.
I mean, I don’t know the gentleman, don’t have anything against him personally one way or the other, but…WTF?… Read more
The amazing true story of the puffball-fetching cat
Our dog doesn’t play fetch like our cat does.
Oh, sure, you can go outside and throw something for Xena to fetch, but more than likely she’ll sit by your side, watch the projectile arc gracefully through the air, and wonder why in the world you threw it way out there. Throw a puffball inside the house, however, and nothing is as certain as the fact that it will return to you in Olivia’s mouth, and she’ll happily drop it by your feet and bat it around a little bit while she waits for you to throw it again. It’s fun!
Olivia also perks up at the mention of the word “puffball.” She can be dozing off, but if you say “puffball,” she looks up in anticipation.
Actually, Olivia carries a lot of stuff around, dog-like, in her mouth: hair scrunchies, string, cat toys (especially Claude), you name it. We’ve found wayward baby socks around the house in places where we never would have put them. Even better is that she’s teaching Oberon this valuable skill.
Don’t believe me? Click here for the video, taken in the doorway of Evan’s room.… Read more
The dynamic duo
Is Evan smiling from ear to ear because he’s in his bouncy chair? Or is it because… … Read more
I’m a warrin’ man, no time to talk
Trust me, this works much better if you play the Bee Gees’ “Stayin’ Alive”.
Handsome little devil, isn’t he? This kid wears my genes better than I do.… Read more
Wind and/or wuthering
Man, the wind blew last night. Right out of the north too, which means “right into the window of Evan’s room, which leaks air like it’s barely there.” I tacked up a blanket across the window, so the cold air didn’t reach him (his crib is by the door, and more importantly, by the central heat/air vent over the door, which was keeping him nice and toasty), but the bed I’ve been sleeping in there during my “overnight baby shift” is right under the window, so…yeah, I got a bit cold. Even my cats didn’t stick around. Draft dodgers!
After reading Flack’s tale of attrition by pizza, I was instantly reminded of my first TV job, and the fact that I had only part of one night’s training. Bearing in mind that I had been working in radio for about 4 years at that point, I think it was probably a big help that I had basic theory of timing out commercial breaks, etc., down…but still, it came as a surprise to me when, about four hours into my shift, she announced that it looked like I had it all figured out, and that she was going to leave and go hang out with her boyfriend. She also made it clear that she wasn’t going to come back to check on my work, or for that matter come back at all. She was quitting on the spot.
I finished out that shift to the best of my ability, without any major issues. Needless to say, the next Saturday night, I was working that shift instead of her.
The funny thing is, several years later at another local gig, I ran into someone who shall remain nameless who was apparently the person with whom she went to hang out after leaving me to my fate. We had a little laugh about that and said that the last time he saw her, she’d said the same thing – which came as a bit of a surprise, since he thought he was her boyfriend. My only reply to that was “Well, I guess she’d finished training you.”
It’s strange how well that joke didn’t go over at the time, but I still think it was funny.… Read more
Surely I’m not the only one…
Well, a little preamble here. My wife has been home now, either madly pregnant or madly mom, for almost three months. In that time, she’s begun to watch an inordinate amount of E!, which – from my own observations in passing through the room – has got to be one of the most inane, disposable, worthless channels on the cable lineup. I can see taking in one episode of True Hollywood Story now and again, maybe once a month if there’s a good one on, but sitting there watching it non-stop? Jesus. Discovery evidently isn’t putting seasons of Deadliest Catch on DVD fast enough for us.
Anyway, I’ve gotten to see a number of promos lately for something called “Keeping Up With The Kardashians”, and surely I’m not the only one who hears that title and immediately makes the mental leap to these people instead. Now that’d be an interesting reality show – talking about the good old days of the Bajoran occupation, comparing notes on torture techniques, and sanding down those pesky neck ridges. That’d almost make more sense. Who the heck are the Kardashians? Maybe this is just the sound of me being older than dirt, but isn’t a prerequisite of celebrity that people recognize you on sight or on mention? Who are these people? Sorry, E!, but you’re cheating. You don’t get to invent celebrities just so you can build reality shows around them. How Truman Show is that?… Read more
TowerCat
I installed this great new feature on my PC today – TowerCat!
… Oberon would have the child.
What a difference a few hours, and a cat, can make. Prepare for CUTE OVERLOAD. … Read more
It’s Giuliani Time!
Another CNN.com screengrab, because you wouldn’t effin’ believe me if I just tried to talk about it.
Okay, that’s it. Obama? Hillary? Where do YOU stand on an attack from Mars? What would Ron Paul do? What about Huckabee?
The most pressing issues of our time, people…are being swept tidily under the rug while candidates get asked dipshit questions like this, and the equally-ridiculous answers get them actual face time. 😆 🙄… Read more
