Category: …And Little E Makes 3

Categories
...And Little E Makes 3 Funny Stuff

Tales from the mind of the boy

MagillaGorillaZillaYesterday afternoon, I asked my son how his school day had gone when I picked him up from school.

He proceeded to tell me that a dragon who eats nothing but computers had eaten all the computers in town, but that he could make a new computer, out of nothing but Cheez-Its, that would run on AA batteries, for an R&D budget of “four hundred and fifty-six pooty-butt dollars”* and this would stop the dragon.

Before I could even work out an exchange rate, I was informed that, after it had “sucked 80 guards into its tummy,” the dragon was slain by one guard with a giant sword. Also, he got almost all of his work done before recess, and did more work after recess to make up for the fact that we were stranded by ice on Tuesday and couldn’t make it off the hill.

I love my kid. 😆

* Go on, laugh. The government would waste many more pooty-butt dollars on this research and you know it.… Read more

Categories
...And Little E Makes 3 Critters Home Base

A nice warm day

You have no idea how much a nice warm day – and by “warm” I mean “65 degrees with a pretty good wind so we’re probably talking about 62 tops” – is welcome after several weeks of near-constant snow and ice. Since the beginning of the year one could be excused for thinking we’ve gone through more icing than a cake shop. Anyway, the cumulative effect of a relatively nice warm day was… happy faces.

Nice day … Read more

Categories
...And Little E Makes 3 Gaming

Have fun storming the arcade!

It’s almost Christmas, the boy is on break, I’m mentally fried from this new job that I have, and mom is in a mood to blow things up. To help keep mom within the confines of the law, and to assist her in the blowing up of things, we all piled into the vehiclemobile and set out to conquer a place we haven’t visited in far too long – Arkadia Retrocade!

Arkadia Retrocade … Read more

Categories
...And Little E Makes 3 Critters

Happy rescue day, Obi Cat!

Seven years ago, this klutzy kitten wandered into the yard, and to the amazement of all involved, Xena didn’t chase him away.

Obi

Later that day, completely unrelated to the arrival of the cat, terrible things happened. We had a vacancy. Obi braved the skeptical black cat and stepped into the breach. … Read more

Categories
...And Little E Makes 3 Critters Funny Stuff

The whole world is going nyeeeeehhhhhh!

So me and the boy got home. Gabby the dog decided to hop in the car the moment the door opened to start dispensing dog kisses. AND THEN REALITY BEGAN TO COLLAPSE AROUND US AND THE LAWS OF NATURE NO LONGER APPLIED.

Salvador Dogli

Actually, what you’re seeing here is dog in motion + kid’s hand in motion + kid and dog jostling me from different directions. Reality is intact, my dog is not made of wavy gravy and my kid’s hands don’t look like the hands of the aliens in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. (Bummer, right?)… Read more

Categories
...And Little E Makes 3

“Dad, are some people born to be bad?”

I try not to clog my blog with lots of reminders about how amazingly smart my kid is, but we had a discussion today about – basically – free will and determinism. Now, before you worry too much, I think there were also some mentions of Kirby and Nyan Cat in there, but… yeah. That conversation happened. With my five year old. A five year old capable of handling philosophical abstracts that I almost have to stop the car and pull over so I can take a moment to formulate a cogent response.

My answer? Who we are is determined by what we are taught and how we are raised, what happens to us and around us, and how we decide to respond to all of the above. No one is born bad or evil. If more people would respond to what happens to and around them with grace, dignity, fairness and compassion, and an understanding that consequences follow any decision – even good ones – the world might be a better place.

And the thing is… he understands this. Hey, this kid has been raised by me. He has vocabulary.

Then we got back to discussing which of our cats could by Nyan Cat in real life. Let’s see… a cat who flies through the air farting rainbows, with a pop tart around its neck? I think there’s really only one answer.… Read more

Categories
...And Little E Makes 3 Funny Stuff

I can verify that this is indeed what he’s talking about

What are THEY talking about?Little E’s new phrase this weekend was “THAT’S what I’M talking about!” Driving home from school Friday, going to the store yesterday… everything was “THAT’S what I’M talking about!” On Sunday, driving to the store, he said it three times in a row about three different things, and then he paused.

“Dad! I’m talking about A LOT OF STUFF!”

I had no response other than “Well, THAT’S what I’M talking about!”

We then proceeded to try to run groceries out to the car in a freakin’ monsoon downpour that proceeded to turn into a hailstorm right on top of us. Even though we couldn’t see two feet in front of us, we raced to the car, which I unlocked by remote and pretty much shoved him into before he took any more troposherically-launched ice pellets to the head. (Speaking as someone who’s been hit by goofball-sized hail before, I can attest to the fact that it hurts.)

After loading the (already soaked) groceries into the car, and still putting the cart in the corral despite the downpour, I slogged my soaked-to-the-bone ass into the driver’s seat, where I landed with a big wet splat. I guess I wasn’t aware of how scary it had been for the little guy.

“THAT’S what I’M talkin’ about!” I said.

“Dad, that’s not what I was talking about,” he said in a small voice. Poor little guy. The whole “that’s what I’m talking about” gag died then and there.

The good news is that I think I’ve finally dried out.… Read more

Categories
...And Little E Makes 3 Funny Stuff

…and the Man with the Yellow Hat couldn’t make bail.

Samuel L. Bronkowitz presents...Little E has a Curious George book in which George finds himself in a dunk tank after causing both hijinks and shennanigans at a charity pancake breakfast.

Except that daddy was really tired and George wound up in the drunk tank. That’s a little hard to explain, and I laughed my ass off for the rest of the story without succumbing to the temptation to explain how George keeps a hip flask of a little somethin’ somethin’ to wash down all those pancakes, and was now over the legal limit.

I guess you had to be there. Always read with your child, folks – great moments in parenting!… Read more