I am become death, destroyer of eating establishments

Yesterday I ate at Hamburger Barn with friends. It’s closing down for good soon.

Today I went to Back Yard Burgers in Fayetteville, since I was already up there to do a drug screen for more of that sweet, sweet IT contract work, and it has gone out of business.

So I have a new idea to make a buck: I am the kiss of death to eating establishments. You run a restaurant? You can pay me NOT to show up.

Nice eatery there. It’d be a shame if something had to…”happen” to it. Something like me!

And I’m reasonable – there will be tiered levels for all budgets. You can only pay so much? I’ll only show up about once every month or so, but I’ll still be there, the food service grim reaper following my every step. Don’t want to take any chances? You’ll have to pony up for me to never darken your door.

Contact me for my paypal details, we’ll do lunch. OR NOT. YOUR CHOICE.