Dinner / not dinner

Dinner (by very specific request from Little E):

…apples, raisins, carrots, bananas. Thanks to his recent repeated reading of “The Berenstain Bears Eat Too Much Junk Food,” Little E is convinced that everything is junk food. I’ve assured him that this stuff is not, and so he loads up on it. C’mon, kid. It’s summer vacation. You’re a preschooler. These flavor blasted Goldfish ain’t gonna eat themselves.

Not dinner (unless you’re an ant):

After our sudden rainstorm this morning, we had an ant infestation out of nowhere. And they’re freakishly huge ants. Since they’re here, I’m going to serve up steaming hot meaty portions of deliciously delayed death, just for them. I only wish the box really said that on it. These ants really bring out the “Al-Capone-from-The-Untouchables” in me: I want them dead! I want their families dead!

That’s what’s for dinner tonight here. Eat well, everyone…