Bayesian filter helter skelter.

Do you ever wonder about those utterly bizarre e-mails you get with huge blocks of text that make some kind of sense, but just not a lot? That’s a technique used to try to foul up spam filtering software, which uses Bayesian filters to look for certain kinds of words, and certain amounts of words. The randomly generated text is usually encoded as a comment or as text that you’ll never see, so that the real spam – usually HTML-coded – can slip through. After all, all that text isn’t using spam words, and it does feature complete sentences…
Kinda.
Here are some recent dispatches from my inbox that simply are their own kind of poetry. My apologies if you get enough of this in your own inbox, but y’know, sometimes they provide a perverse kind of entertainment all their own.

A vacuum cleaner brainwashes a stovepipe near a particle accelerator, because the insurance agent is a big fan of the vacuum cleaner beyond a vacuum cleaner. An anomaly brainwashes a feline nation. A Eurasian avocado pit satiates the diskette of the line dancer. Furthermore, a cargo bay inside a grand piano feels nagging remorse, and a turkey around a bottle of beer operates a small fruit stand with an umbrella for a globule. When you see a cosmopolitan cowboy, it means that the diskette earns frequent flier miles. You really can’t fail with facilitating organisational alignment.

Furthermore, an usually spartan light bulb gets stinking drunk, and an earring pours freezing cold water on a soggy tornado. When you see a tattered minivan, it means that a movie theater related to a grizzly bear gets stinking drunk. A hairy defendant is flabby. Most people believe that a grain of sand defined by the power drill laughs and drinks all night with a nearest freight train, but they need to remember how accurately another spartan reactor procrastinates. If a parking lot carelessly requires assistance from the feline bottle of beer, then a defendant around a minivan daydreams. A jersey cow about a corporation is resplendent. Any parking lot can secretly admire a photon inside the fundraiser, but it takes a real class action suit to derive perverse satisfaction from the annoying paper napkin.

An impromptu nation trades baseball cards with the tuba player inside the parking lot. An abstraction of an umbrella laughs out loud, and a slow abstraction hesitates; however, the support group behind the insurance agent buys an expensive gift for a skinny vacuum cleaner. Some judge from the cyprus mulch finds subtle faults with a seldom obsequious jersey cow.

For example, an accidentally flatulent class action suit indicates that a mating ritual inexorably buys an expensive gift for a pathetic senator. A turkey prays, and an infected line dancer sweeps the floor; however, the mortician writes a love letter to some seldom purple tabloid. When a skyscraper inside a skyscraper trembles, a greasy plaintiff earns frequent flier miles. Now and then, a ball bearing secretly befriends a knowingly alleged insurance agent. The wheelbarrow living with a fairy, a paper napkin related to the cowboy, and another smelly freight train are what made America great! A diskette non-chalantly learns a hard lesson from a polar bear from an ocean. The cantankerous pickup truck learns a hard lesson from some CEO near the tape recorder. When a hockey player is geosynchronous, the photon goes deep sea fishing with the precise blithe spirit. A psychotic wheelbarrow makes love to a pickup truck. When the pathetic grand piano is feline, the tornado overwhelmingly makes love to the crank case of some traffic light.

Now those are some frisky farm implements and meteorological phenomena. 😯 But at least now I can say I truly know what makes America great!